The black room.

In a blink, the moon was dripping in blood. Lonely cold breeze hit my naked bones, 

I think I heard the growl, like it was nearer and I can’t run any farther. 

My nerves were turning black, the silent woods was screaming. The monster I’m running from has my blood on his mind, he’s chasing me down and I don’t wanna be chained again. 

The black room was blood-curdling, the whips still fresh with my droplets. The heaviness still impairing me. My nails broke and my eyes blue. The growl growing louder as minutes pass. 

On my knees, like I was in the black room. The pitch black sky swooshed the monster in my direction. The silent woods heard my weak obsequious pleas mercilessly. 

The crackle of the dry leaves made me twitch. I’m ensnared by him. Once again. The woods are his and it’ll never let me skedaddle. I meekily put my hands up in the air and the sharp chilly air numbed my breasts. 

The cold fetters on my neck ran down through my spine embracing my rear and horrifyingly rolling down in between my thighs up to my navel ending at my nipples. 

The grin on his beautifully monstrous face is unforgiving. The eyes looked victorious and my cheek blew red with his fingerprint. He walked in his suede boots while I crawled on all fours. 

The moon turned milky and the black room looked unsympathetic. The blood stains still shrieked fear. The wolves howled on the monster’s triumph and I kneeled before Lucifer vulnerably and I saw his deadening shadow holding the black lash. 

Forlorn faith.

My hope flickered like the wick in oil,
Take me back to where it all began,
So I can turn it all around
For I wonder how it would be,
To feel like the mere ordinary.

Scattered were my thoughts,
Deeper, the marks of lechery.
It felt like the arrows piercing
Into my already healed scars, while
I burned in the fiery lake of his lust.

A shoulder I searched for, but
Satan I found and it was blinding
Darkness thereafter. Fighting
The day and fighting the night,
Exhausted, I crumpled on to the ground.

Neither him or him or her came
To liberate me from this excruciating
Suffering, stop me for I know not how
To. His temptation strong and overpowering. I felt stifled.

Holding the lantern, I lay on the
Pyre of pain, but he still is around,
I got a whiff of him, and I egressed.
Breathless, I looked around only to
find myself back to where I bolted from.

Scarce courage, brittle, stone
Like heart, teary sighted horizon,
The wind threatened my faith
And as perturbated as I looked,
It never felt like before, ever again.

The kind of love so was lost.

The kind of love so was lost,
The way she searched it everywhere.
It screamed in flames
Deepened scars and blue black hearts.

Tears blinded her sight
And voice so sore.
She felt it yet she pushed it
all away.
Ignorant and distant is all
she is now.

Daddy never loved her,
Neither did the man she so
much adored. Acquaintances, friends and foes were all leaving void around her.

Souls bled but she wanted
a cure now. Dreaming and she suddenly stopped,
Wide eyed staring out of the rusty window pane.
Everything seemed so blurred.

Icy cold, her feelings so dead.
She got up to leave
And found nothing and no-one
really wanted to hold her back.

Hope and Reasons and
Mad quest for a real treat,
Gushing over the romantic
Breeze that she can feel for.

Jealous and anxious to be
Wanted and to be felt.
Come over and tell her she
deserves Otherwise, oh now.
Oh see? It's all in her eyes.

Because..

I am numb because I felt too much once.
I hide my face behind my hands while laughing because someone said I've ugly teeth.

I hide my feelings because people in the past have let me down.
I stopped wearing crop tops because someone said I don't look beautiful.

My every sentence has a 'sorry' because someone made me feel guilty for being innocent.
I stopped caring about others because no one held me when I needed it desperately.

I stopped thinking about a family because I lost one.
I stopped chasing people because they all leave eventually. 

I stopped loving myself because everyone else did.
I don't write because there's so much I feel in a second to be able to put it into words.

I fear a man because of the growth in rape cases.
I never tell things because you think I lie.

I don't know keep friends in life because I was bullied.
I stopped sharing my heart out because they will eventually judge you. 

I stopped falling in love because it hurts.
My eyes are dry because I cried too much for too long.

I stopped wearing bright lipsticks and make-up because someone thinks I look like a slut. 
I cover my outfit with a jacket because I don't feel safe around people.

I stopped looking up to people because they all failed me once.
I don't let people touch me because someone's touch was inappropriate and made me cringe.

I don't share my things because I value them and you won't. 
I stopped looking into people's eyes because I can see the monsters in their soul.

I cry because I can no longer rely on people.
I stopped talking because it never mattered.

I stopped loving others because no one has ever shown me a drop of empathy.
I pull my tummy in and stop my breath while taking a selfie because people say I look like a potato in my skin.

I go on solo dates with myself because no one could ever vibe with me.
I stopped feeling because it tears you apart.

I am evil now because I was too good once.
I seldom react because my heart's dead.

I sacrifice my happiness for others because I know how it feels to not have anything to feel happy about. 
I don't believe in you because I've been deceived more than once.

I fear because it aches.
I put in efforts because I genuinely care.

I walked away because I felt left out. 
I stopped thinking about you because you were thinking about her. 

I stopped throwing my life on social media because I realised no one cares. 
I throw people out because I'm tired of the scars they leave behind. 

I stopped smiling because people said mean things to me.
I wrote this because I wanna be heard.

Because is a word that has a lot of pain attached to it. Don't be someone's "because..."

While People were busy jumping into conclusions faster than jumping in to save someone, they all slowly became my "Because."

My tail wagging happiness.

I started walking towards him.

It was a dark night, after a long lonely walk, 

I saw the street lights flickering through the 

corner of my eye. I could hear a dog 

or two growl, few feet away from where I stood.

But all I could see is- Him. And the next minute

I realized, I was taking him home.

I know he's not allowed into my home. 

But I still took him into my arms, keeping 

in mind my extreme levels of cynophobia. 

But, surprisingly, I wanted him. Love at first 

sight maybe. I didn't want him to walk away. 

I couldn't stop staring into his eyes.

Those eyes spoke to me. Gleaming,

I smiled. I could feel he did too.

 

When he raised his ears, I could 

feel he wanted me to pet his chin. I didn't care 

about anything anymore. He felt like the most 

important thing to me. And it suddenly hit me. All 

the tears my pillow drank up. It was for someone like him. 

All that melancholy suddenly started to 

fade. I felt wanted, alive. I felt like screaming in 

pure joy. And when he let out a tiny bark,

it echoed, and my heart skipped a beat.

I laughed nervously. And he wagged his tiny 

little tail to my tune of contentedness. 

In my broken life, I've finally found a 

friend, who will know when I cry. He'll

dance around me and cheer me up.

And, soon, he will be my life. 

I'm an art, made of pain.

I was floating in the flames of torture.
It was burning my heart blue.
He pulled me closer to his bare chest
Run a whiplash over me, from my belly
To my toe, made me twitch in trepidation, His warmth was cooling my fears.

I can't wait to have his hands over me.
I missed his lips, the way they move on me.
I missed his violent kisses all over me.
Hold me tight, make me feel hard.
I wanna moan your name, aloud.
Ignite the passion, between our warm bodies.

Chase me down the streets.
Make love to me through the eyes.
Push me to the door, to the wall,
While eyes stare at me, I gasp.
Make me wanna long for you more.
Run your fingers through my hair,

Like I'm art, made of pain.
Melancholy hit her. The past haunted her.
She dipped her feelings in red ink.
And poured it out through the quill.
Each word danced to the tune of sadness.
Turning the white parchment blue.

It happened at such a pace, it was breaking me to pieces. I was panting. I was breathless.
The sheets, creased on the futon.
Just like her life, ruffled, a storm that
Left decades ago, but the agony still persists. Soreness of the heartbreak.

Touch me, I mean no harm.

Life is a ghost,
Standing amidst the smog
Of this urban land,
Now I understand.
The inner truth of them.

You can't see it,
You can't feel it.
For it has all the evil built inside of it
And the damage done is irreparable.
Neither can you heal it.

You scream, but no one hears you.
You cry, but no one cares.
You beg, but no one empathizes you.
Why is it so?
Am I invisible or am I an evil?

I am poor, so are you.
I'm ugly, so are you.
I'm famine struck, so are you.
For Your minds work in a way
where they want us away.

Why? I ask why?
What mistake is mine?
To feel and bear this harshness,
From each one of you,
For we are humans too, just like you.

Can't you see, its not fair?
Injustice and racism is growing
Inside of you. In your heart.
For we are people from a different land,
different color and culture.

I breathe the same air that you do.
I laugh out, just like you.
I love, just like you.
I feel, just like you.
Touch me, I mean no harm to you.

Is he the one??

Her undressed heart spoke
And one could feel the touch
Which he failed to. Couldn't
She just shout it out?

She wore her best dress
That day, to make heads turn.
But she saw he wasn't looking
At her. Like he's supposed to.

Her heels hurt, her hair
Blew out of proportion
Each time the wind found
It's place. And she thought

Why couldn't I get him to Notice
Me. While She remembered the first
time they met. His blue tee,his khaki 

shaded backpack. His eyes oh my my.

Her friends said he ain't good.
But her soul spoke, go for it.
He stood on the staircase blocking
Her way, she froze. Her heart stopped.

Frozen Moments

Hand in hand, walking down the hill.
Tiring t'was. But worth the still.
Haven't thought of the pain.
Hurting and bleeding blue, in rain.

Her lips smelled of a dark red rose.
From her to her,she was the one I chose.
Her green eyes told me a story.
Weak and yet a bright glory

She was a virgin. In heart. Yet to be molested 

by those guys who know not how to love. It was 

all about breaking the walls of the emptiness that was crawling.

It was in her weak shrinking heart. I wonder

What's gonna make her strong. Those lonely 
nights where you remember everything that 
ever hurt you. It's time, he said.

Walking away, sobbing I was

Wait. Don't go. Bled my deepest soul.
But the past is twirled around us. Tears like tornado

and anger like a curse. She felt it.

The pain and regrets, and the burn. 

The Lost Diadem

In light she shone like a diamond,
Perhaps she was meant to wither away.
But she didn't. Because they said be
what you are. And she chose to be the
midnight's brightness. Amongst the dark.

Around the tiny peck of life,
A small magical dust made
its way into her gentle arms.
She felt alive and touched,
rejoicing her hearts crust.

The huge dragon waves of love,
made its way into the caves.
And he tried his might to bring the
warmth out. But could it be the
drops of deep insane purity?

And when all she seeked was love,
it was hard to even get a lil' of it.
Indeed yes,and harder it got when
she learnt what it actually means.
Uglier, when she did.

She had her big feathery wings,
attached to her back. Her hands
buried into his.Breath held tight,
uneven in fear. How can  we face
the queen? With nothing to show?

He looked at her,  And she knew.
He's the only one who can
get back the lost Diadem.
The symbol of love. In the
territory of the fairy land.

One Among The Misanthropes?!

They tried their might to bring her down. To make her wilt. To destroy her crown.
Many succeeded. Many wanted to see
how they can make her Weep. "Hell thee
stop this," she begged. But none heard.

It was her first day at school. The hostile
looks made her shudder, With a smile
she drank it all in. Not uttering a word
about it. For she knew, none cared.
It was breaking her inside. Deeply.

She looked around in class, And saw
girls in packs of wolves. Eyes so raw
staring right at me. Perhaps through me.
I wondered what made them hate me.
It started destroying her soul.

The girls belonged to the rich but
their hearts, poor as glut. She cut
her eye contact and decided to put
her left over ounce of zeal on that
piece of book in front of her.

The lecture ended almost ten minutes
ago. But she couldn't bear the unlimits
of the gossip girls. Blowing up each
of the pieces left untouched, a screech
that could be heard from within.

The prying eyes followed her everywhere
from the corridors to the library stairs.
Each time she moved a muscle, a giggle
or a tantrum could be heard aloud.
She buried her heart in her sleeve.

It wasn't a new thing to her. For She
faced this brutality since three.
harder and more  it got
as she entered school, the knot
of pain began to break her more.

She looked around her, and suddenly
found a pair of eyes, so heavenly
they looked at me, I was sceptic.
And my esteem, apathetic.
It was very unusual to me.

I turned away. A sense of agony.
I heard a voice, "Hi, I'm Anthony."
I stood Frozen. Wondering why
he's here. I let out a sigh.
He walked around, now eye to eye.

I asked, "What?" It's so rude
I was amazed. Like I'm shrewd.
"I'm new here. And I was lost,
people seem arrogant, and you soft."
His tone made me look at him.

Eyes deep green, subtle beard
fair as a star, he appeared
to have been really lost. For he
looked tensed. While the tree
Behind was deep yellow.

"Could you tell me where is the
way to the Chemistry lab?" He's a
lost guy. Asking for the way. Nothing
more. I assured myself. Brushing
my fear away. I led him to the lab.

I turned to leave, when I felt a
hand on mine. It was his. The
feeling was different. I looked at
him. And for once, I felt safe. Flat
Was my heartbeat. No more antsy.

I Loved A Satan.

Look up at the blue sky,
Wanna hold you and fly high.
And the green trees beneath
Us would chase us whilst I'd breathe.

The sea is a mixed shade of blue
And green. Wandering with rue
And holding the guilt deep within.
Trying hard to brush away the dark sin.

The mirror speaks to her each
day, and she hears a horrid screech,
For she sees her reflection stare
at her. While she is standing bare.

Sinful t'was but none could see.
Lest know, she wanted to weep.
Harder it got as the day passed,
To go back and look into her past.

"Turn off the lights, Satan is coming"
She heard him say. He was humming
it aloud for her to realize she's soon
to be gone. Far away. To another moon.

The daisies in the vase turned black
And she could hear footsteps crack
And cursed the man sitting on her
Chest. Head stirring and sight blurred.

There were four men. All dressed
In black and red. Alas, I guessed
it right. They're no Satan's men,
Acquaintances, once again.

His hatred to the odds of my love
Dragged me into this chaos, Above
all it was hard to let him to let me
go. It was breaking me. It has to be.

The men grabbed my arm. Hard.
I couldn't feel my blood flow. Guard
my soul I begged Him. It was turning
into hell. With Satan's men burning.

I turned back, to look at him.
His lips pressed tightly, a grin,
Like he achieved it finally.
He let me go. So easily.

Is it wrong to love??

Walking down the lane, 
Feeling what I've felt, again. 
Could this stop throbbing me? 
Whilst you keep robbing me, 
Away from love, Away from me.

I remember the times we were 
Together, the me in me loved the  
You in you, I couldn't help but 
Fall for you, so hard, so bad,
but I was mad. 

I touched you, and felt that 
it's speaking to me. Words 
unheard by you, Words 
you didn't speak,and were few,
caressing your Hair. And you. 

It was the time, remembering 
how deeply I've loved you. Looking 
up at you, Wondering would you 
miss me when I'm away? 
Like I miss you?

Times change, they said. Good

 
Things will eventually come to 
You, they said. How can it be true
I thought, while the only good thing
Happened to me, was the bad. 

When you walked outta that Door, 
leaving me amid the chaos, 
The screaming and cryings that
Happened right here in this room, 
Is this the good they talked about? 

It was time, I felt, to rethink 
What I want. Yes, I can't live without 
Him. Not a bit. It's hard. It's tough. 
But when you're attacked by the 
One you love, you've to fight back. 

"Why me??"

She looked out of the window,
And saw the ants crawl, in a depressing row. 
It wasn't a bright sight, 
And wondered if what she was doing is right. 
And she sobbed, "Why me?"

She had it all well planned. 
And t'was to run away from the damned. 
One could see her big drops of tears,
Which reflected her life's fears. 
And she sobbed, "Why me?"

Father returned home last night, 
And she could feel the terror struck sight. 
It happened every day and ever night,
Not knowing how she'll see the light. 
And she sobbed, "Why me?"

She could no longer hold it, 
And couldn't play his wit.
It seemed useless to fight. 
But she tried it with all her might. 
And she sobbed, "Why me?"

He opened the door and it creaked, 
She saw his dark huge shadow and freaked. 
She  whispered,"Don't do it, Father!"
And he told her not to be bothered. 
And she sobbed, "Why me?"

He took out his manliness,
Slowly killing her liveliness. 
He roughed her up for more than an hour,
Which seemed to him like a chocolate tower. 
And she sobbed, "Why me?"

And he seemed satisfied and quenched, 
While she was broken and sweat drenched.
She felt sore in her breasts,
She couldn't think of anything but to rest. 
And she sobbed, "Why me?"

She was filled with anguish, 
Broken and wanting to come back in vanquish. 
She'd rise, off these tangles, 
Breaking them, escaping the strangles. 
And she sobbed, "Try me!"

Into The World Of Love.

I still remember the times,
When we had our night Convos.
Twinkling sound of the wind chimes
In the background, And How I loved
the way you ate your dippy momos.
They're now in my memories.

Long walks, with my heartbeat fast,
And Peeking up at you, You looked
At me and asked, Will it last?
What would I do without you in my life?
I wouldn't want a life without you.
Marry me, be my legally wedded wife.

I was overwhelmed, happy tears
In my eyes gave away my answer,
And he held me hard, killing my fears.
I whispered, I waited for this all my life,
Never knew it'd be this touchy and cute.
It was way beyond perfect and nice.

Then started the journey into the
World of love, where all isn't true
And fair. Some can be hard, some can
be broken. Yet, I deeply trusted you,
while I saw others breaking apart,
leaving behind their other halves.

And The shades of each, frightened me,
But you stood beside me, like a savior.
I felt proud, I felt safe, and you see
I'm jealous too. What if I lose you?
I caught you staring at me, it seemed like
You loved me, and it felt true.

 

All the times when we were cooking love,
All the times when we went on rides,
All the times when I wore my velvet glove,
All the times when I was filled with pride,
Is the time when we fell in love,
Is the time I wanted us to last,
For it ain't a crime, It's just love cast.