The kind of love so was lost.

The kind of love so was lost,
The way she searched it everywhere.
It screamed in flames
Deepened scars and blue black hearts.

Tears blinded her sight
And voice so sore.
She felt it yet she pushed it
all away.
Ignorant and distant is all
she is now.

Daddy never loved her,
Neither did the man she so
much adored. Acquaintances, friends and foes were all leaving void around her.

Souls bled but she wanted
a cure now. Dreaming and she suddenly stopped,
Wide eyed staring out of the rusty window pane.
Everything seemed so blurred.

Icy cold, her feelings so dead.
She got up to leave
And found nothing and no-one
really wanted to hold her back.

Hope and Reasons and
Mad quest for a real treat,
Gushing over the romantic
Breeze that she can feel for.

Jealous and anxious to be
Wanted and to be felt.
Come over and tell her she
deserves Otherwise, oh now.
Oh see? It's all in her eyes.

Because..

I am numb because I felt too much once.
I hide my face behind my hands while laughing because someone said I've ugly teeth.

I hide my feelings because people in the past have let me down.
I stopped wearing crop tops because someone said I don't look beautiful.

My every sentence has a 'sorry' because someone made me feel guilty for being innocent.
I stopped caring about others because no one held me when I needed it desperately.

I stopped thinking about a family because I lost one.
I stopped chasing people because they all leave eventually. 

I stopped loving myself because everyone else did.
I don't write because there's so much I feel in a second to be able to put it into words.

I fear a man because of the growth in rape cases.
I never tell things because you think I lie.

I don't know keep friends in life because I was bullied.
I stopped sharing my heart out because they will eventually judge you. 

I stopped falling in love because it hurts.
My eyes are dry because I cried too much for too long.

I stopped wearing bright lipsticks and make-up because someone thinks I look like a slut. 
I cover my outfit with a jacket because I don't feel safe around people.

I stopped looking up to people because they all failed me once.
I don't let people touch me because someone's touch was inappropriate and made me cringe.

I don't share my things because I value them and you won't. 
I stopped looking into people's eyes because I can see the monsters in their soul.

I cry because I can no longer rely on people.
I stopped talking because it never mattered.

I stopped loving others because no one has ever shown me a drop of empathy.
I pull my tummy in and stop my breath while taking a selfie because people say I look like a potato in my skin.

I go on solo dates with myself because no one could ever vibe with me.
I stopped feeling because it tears you apart.

I am evil now because I was too good once.
I seldom react because my heart's dead.

I sacrifice my happiness for others because I know how it feels to not have anything to feel happy about. 
I don't believe in you because I've been deceived more than once.

I fear because it aches.
I put in efforts because I genuinely care.

I walked away because I felt left out. 
I stopped thinking about you because you were thinking about her. 

I stopped throwing my life on social media because I realised no one cares. 
I throw people out because I'm tired of the scars they leave behind. 

I stopped smiling because people said mean things to me.
I wrote this because I wanna be heard.

Because is a word that has a lot of pain attached to it. Don't be someone's "because..."

While People were busy jumping into conclusions faster than jumping in to save someone, they all slowly became my "Because."